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Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Suri So What!

OK,

I get that Tom Cruise thinks EVERYONE on the planet is an idiot. I mean, he must think that, considering I'm/we're supposed to believe the ASIAN kid on the cover of Vanity Fair is his!!!!!

I've got to go with the theory of him being an alien. He is an alien and we are all inferior life-forms...who will believe anything put in front of us. I can just imagine his "To-Do" List...

1.) Find really dumb young white woman, put her into permanent trance
2.) Make sure all she can do daily is flash a big dumb smile and drink lots of coffee (filled with my alien mind-control)
3.) Have master Hollywood make-up artist rig a fake belly to make her look pregnant
4.) Fly self to China and pick-up one of the thousand little girls abandoned in their sewer system, clean her up and bring it back with me

Voila, suddenly we have a baby AND a huge magazine cover. I guess we can finally sleep tonight.

Your Nubian Gossip Queen

"That's Right, I Said It!"

posted by Nubian Gossip Queen at 4:52 PM 0 comments

Monday, September 04, 2006

Beyonce's Been BOUNCED!

So,

Tomorrow we all will be blessed with a new album from the Queen of BOOTYLICIOUS..Beyonce. I have been a BIG Beyonce fan...up until now. Here's what's wrong.

Am I the only person who noticed Beyonce's MTV VMA performance was a sham version of a Jackson (Michael or Janet...take your pick) on a bad day? Now, to make matters worse, I find out this is actually a Britney Spears impersonation. OH MY GOD...how far have we fallen? Yes, I'm not telling tales, it's true. Apparently down to the long rain coat and fly-in opening. Miss Britney gave the same performance at The AMAs a few years ago. What a waste, there goes another one down the drain.

Are we now forced to copy PWT, for moves we should actually own? It pains me people. What's next B?!? Barefoot and pregnant, roaming the aisles of a supermarket, searching for that next bag of Cheetos to keep you right?

Oh well, maybe it's for the better. I'd rather she tank now, while she still has her looks. Better than tanking in 5 years when she's just another strung-out, wasted, former Diva.

"That's Right, I Said It!"

posted by Nubian Gossip Queen at 11:35 AM 0 comments